Canadian News

Rebel News opens COVID hotel

After suffering full demonetization of their YouTube channel, Rebel News has decided to raise funds by opening a COVID hotel in their Toronto head office.

The tech giant’s decision to remove advertisements on their 1.45 million subscriber channel is estimated to result in the loss of $400,000 worth of annual revenue for the small news organization.

Staff report they first became aware of the financial blow while overhearing Rebel Commander Ezra Levant challenge a YouTube representative on a phone call. “The paper thin walls are sure to provide comfort to travellers lodged in our new COVID quarantine isolation pods,” commented one editor. ”You’re never alone when you can hear the Rebel News Daily livestream reverberate through the entire building.”

Explaining that Rebel News will never take a cent from Justin Trudeau’s multi-bajillion dollar mainstream media bailout, staff say that accepting a plush federal contract from Trudeau’s government to trap Canadians returning from funerals and political rallies is a much more ethical way to raise funds: “Until now, we have been entirely funded by donors. And now we’re funded entirely by even more donors: the Canadian taxpayer at large.”

Quarantine at Rebel News will guarantee you three Insta-worthy meals a day.

“And it’s all for just $3,000* for a three day stay,” added a staff lawyer. “And if you chose to resist and flee to your own home to wait out your quarantine in comfort, you can submit your violation ticket to our Fight the Fines civil liberties project and we’ll hire you a lawyer dedicated to tossing out these obscene COVID tickets.”

*Door locks to cost $25 extra

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